Sunday, September 14, 2014

Told You So!

My daughter organized a group to participate in "Trails for Tails", a fundraising event for Five Acres Animal Shelter. Her intrepid team is pictured above. She turned it into a true family affair by recruiting me, her sister-in-law (my daughter-in-law), and my sister. Can you guess who's who?

Prior to leaving for Trails, we had a serious talk with Daughter's step-son who plays competitive hockey and is also a huge Blues fan.

Daughter: "You ought to come along in case Dave Backes (captain of the St Louis Blues hockey team and board member of Five Acres Animal Shelter) is there."

Since he's nearly 13, he blew us off with a blithe, "Backes won't be there, he's busy with hockey stuff" reply. His eyes never once left the hockey video game he was playing. Oh well...

Anyway, we were lucky enough to have perfect weather for the 3 mile walk. I'd say several hundred people (and almost as many pets) attended.

At 9 a.m. sharp we were off and walking. Although we had runners on our team, they took pity on the rest of us and walked, too. Otherwise they'd have left us behind in their dust.

Just after we crossed the finish line, guess what? Daughter spied a special someone and snagged a picture to seal the deal.

Yep, it was HIM! She texted the photo to a certain young man who quickly regretted not listening to the ladies. Luckily, Daughter had enough empathy to refrain from saying, "I told you so!"

What a perfect day and great fun raising much-needed money for my favorite animal shelter.

*Pictured from left to right in team picture: two of Daughter's best buddies, Daughter, my sister, me, and my daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is holding her pup, Brady. 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Real Cool

We've had a pretty mild summer so far, but this week it's back to reality. Upper 90's, air thick with humidity, and searing sunshine are making me feel as though I'm living in an oven. A typical summer in St. Louis is upon us. Because it's too darn hot to go outside, get any chores done, or even to do much thinking, I've conjured up a few images to help all of us feel better. Put up your feet and imagine cool breezes...

I think I just shivered. How about you?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Wednesday, August 6, 2014


When Hubby discovered a dead spider in the bathroom, he told me something no one wants to hear.

"See the fiddle pattern on his body? It's a brown recluse. I found one in the garage, too."

After I peeled myself off the ceiling, I ran to the computer. What does one do about this type of uninvited guest? Fortunately, my research suggested a simple solution. Get glue traps and set them out to capture the spiders. 

I bought glue traps at the home improvement store and placed them strategically in obscure and dark locations throughout the house. Then I waited.

Three days and glue traps caught nothing. There's something really sinister about a spider who is not only poisonous, but also smart. I set out more glue traps but days later still didn't find so much as a speck of dust attached.  

I chewed my lip and brushed my hair, trying to put the whole idea of spiders out of my brain. Bogey wound himself between my legs, waving his tail in typical fashion. Then all at once he bolted away, his tail swishing madly. I looked down. Something was on his tail. Something BIG. 

I grabbed for him and quickly realized his tail had hit one of the glue traps. Let me tell you, when the package advertises "Professional Strength", it's no exaggeration. I couldn't get the trap off and screamed for Hubby. Hubby obviously recognized the edge of panic in my voice and ran to the rescue. While I held down a spitting, screaming Bogey, Hubby ripped the glue trap off. As you can see, Bogey's tail did not emerge unscathed. 


Bogey hissed at me and immediately began to administer emergency first aid. 

Now it's more than a week later and I still haven't captured anything but Bogey's tail. I suppose his unfortunate experience is really all my fault. When the name of a product is Tomcat, I ought to know enough to leave it alone.

Monday, July 28, 2014

The Help

There's no such thing as privacy at my house. In fact, nothing happens without complete snoopervision. Even the shower isn't sacred.

You missed a spot

No one is shy about lending a helping paw, either.

Let me adjust this for you

Yet it can be refreshing to have competent assistants.

I've got your towel on the warming rack

Sigh. Guess I'm pretty lucky, after all.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Like A Big Pizza Pie

Local Woman Captures Photo of UFO 

I snapped this eerily glowing object using my iPhone a couple of weeks ago. Looks like we're about to be invaded, doesn't it? But I'm not feeling scared at all. This isn't invasion, it's opportunity. If I can sell my UFO picture to the media, Indy and Bogey will be in treats and toys forever. I could turn in my retirement paperwork immediately. After all, who needs a job when they're rolling in dough?

My idea is foolproof because who could mistake this glowing object for anything but a UFO? I tell you, all I need is an advertising campaign and marketing plan. We'll be on Easy Street forever. Snap!

While I work out the details, take a look at last week's book signing. A standing room only crowd filled STL Books.

As you can see, the event was a resounding success. Thanks to everyone who came out to support NYMB on Moms and NYMB on Family. We had a blast!

And on another note, here's some news for all you Chicken Soup fans. Reboot Your Life will be released in September. My story, The Tuesday Night Ladies League will be included. Yep, me and bowling. I really could have named this story the Odd Couple.

But I digress. Before I can get back to my marketing plan, it's time for a dinner break. Strange how the more my eyes stare at the UFO picture, the more I crave a big pizza pie. And want to sing. In Italian.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

You're Invited!

It's steamy summertime in St. Louis, so how about a night out to have some cool fun?

STL Books in Kirkwood, Missouri will host a special event on Tuesday, July 15, from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Multiple contributors to NYMB on Family and NYMB on Being a Mom will be on hand and promise to give each person who shows up a live pinto pony. Okay, maybe more like give each person who shows up some slightly warped parenting advice. (Note: utilize advice at your own risk) 

How about another reason to attend? STL Books will be donating 10% of book sales to the Family Resource Center, to assist them in their mission to prevent child abuse and neglect. It can't get much better than that, can it?

So let's have a play date on Tuesday. Hope to see you there!

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Happy Fourth (or Fifth, or Sixth, or Seventh)

Image from House Call Vet Care.

I admit to perpetrating my share of critter craziness. Over the years I've bought hats, colorful outfits, and sunglasses for dogs. I've put jingle bells on cats. I've even photographed critters with a sign around their neck labeled with phrases like, "I pooped in Dad's shoes." But I've never dyed a dog red, white, and blue. Well, probably in this case dyed a dog red and blue. I assume this poor pup is usually white. We can only hope he didn't have to wait for his hair to grow out.

Fourth of July is nearly upon us again. Fireworks are blazing, blasting, and generally bloodcurdling just about every animal around, from pets to wildlife. Oh the joy of trying to get your dog to potty outside when the neighbors own a bigger arsenal than the United States did in World War II.

I thought my poor Indy boy had grown deaf enough not to care, but let me tell you, he cares. He really cares. So we're trying to have potty time when there's a lull in the action. Unfortunately we're having a lot more action than lull.

There's no one that enjoys a holiday more than me, but I must say I always look forward to July 5th (or 6th or 7th) so I don't feel like I need a helmet and combat boots every time I go outside. Alright, go ahead and give me some cheese with my Fourth of July whine.

So tell us what you think. On Fourth of July do you prefer action or lull? Whatever it is you want, we hope you get it...safely.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Getting Older

Here's my handsome Indy boy. Isn't he a sweetheart? When I walk from room to room, he gets up (slowly, thanks to his arthritis) and pads patiently along behind me. If I sit down, he's in my lap. If I work at the computer he positions himself beneath the desk. Indy has always been my little shadow.

As you can see, he's long overdue for a haircut. I planned to take him on Saturday, but he wasn't feeling well. Now that he's achieved the vast age of 14, I don't like to stress him out. If his fur is long and he smells a little "doggie", oh well. We can live with it.

Indy has slowed down a lot in recent months. He's lost even more of his ability to see and hear. He's thinner than he used to be and sleeps most of the time. It's becoming clear we're approaching our final journey, though I try not to dwell on it. As long as he's happy, eats and drinks, and doesn't appear to be in pain, we're good. And I hope we'll be good for a long while yet to come.

It's tough watching our four-leggers get old, isn't it?

Tuesday, June 17, 2014


Don't let that innocent face fool you. Bogey is one tricky kitty. Seems like its one cat-tastrophe after another. If he isn't opening doors and drawers, stealing food, or knocking breakables off shelves to the floor, you can bet it's because he's taking a cat nap.

On the bright side, Bogey gives me fodder for stories. Plenty of fodder. His antics have been featured in more than one essay collection. Now he's got another book to add to his growing list of credits.

"The Great Curtain Caper" will appear in Not Your Mother's Book on Cats, coming soon.

Unfortunately, all the notoriety has gone straight to Bogey's head.

Bring on the paparazzi, woman. I'm ready for my close-up.

I don't care if he is a male. This feline has definitely become a diva.